It has been a long time since I last wrote on this weekly
blog. The month in Guatemala, coupled
with visiting family, and new job responsibilities has made it difficult. More than that though, I was sitting in a
season of grumbling.
I was moaning about injustices. I was moaning about all the annoying parts of
living in the Dominican Republic. I was
moaning about relational difficulties. I
was moaning about disunity. But in the
midst of that, over and over again, I knew that Jesus was gently nudging at my
heart, telling me to come to HIM, for rest, but I would angrily hiss back, “your
yoke isn’t easy, and your burden is anything but light!”
I promised to be transparent in these blogs in the hopes
that I can encourage other clay pots. Certainly not because I like it, on the
contrary, it pains me to share my sinful rebellion. With that awareness, I still chose to feel
sorry for myself, but I wasn’t fully aware of the sin inside my heart.
Maybe these things sound familiar to you:
“I’m so discouraged”
“I’m so tired”
“My heart is so heavy”
“I’m just so hurt”
“I don’t want to be here!”
I don’t think every time these statements are uttered, they are
automatically sinful, but if these things come out of our mouths on repeat? Can we honestly say, that we are “counting it
all joy” (James 1:3) or that we have “learned to be content” (Philippians 4:11)?
Sarcastic comments.
Jokes that aren’t funny.
Isolation. Passive aggressive choices
not to serve THAT person. We have to
call a spade a spade!
I KNEW when I got back into God’s Word, He was going to
convict me… and He did. Because He is
Faithful… to me reflecting Him to a dying world.
1 Corinthians 10 keeps coming up…
The chapter starts with explaining that the Israelites in
the wilderness, and how they also were “baptized”, and “drank from the Rock
that followed them, and the Rock was Christ”.
Vs. 5 “Nevertheless, with most of them, God was not pleased
for they were overthrown in the wilderness.”
He continues to write about the Israelites in the wilderness,
how they fell into sexual immorality, how they put Christ to the test, how they
grumbled. I mean really, if you think of the Israelites
in the wilderness… what did they DO?
They complained!
Vs. 11 “Now these things happened to them as an example, but
they were written down for our instruction…”
Then… the familiar verse…
Vs. 13 - “No temptation/test has overtaken you, except that
which is common to man. And God is
faithful; He will not let you be tempted/tested beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted/tested, he will also
provide a way out, so that you can endure it.”
I read that in about 14 different places before I HEARD it
in my heart. John Piper was the one who
really brought it home for me in a three part series that he did, dissecting
this verse (You can see Part 1 HERE).
“No temptation” –
to give in to a pleasure as a source of comfort apart from God. Sexual Pleasure. Junk Food.
Relational comfort (co-grumblers, avoiding hard relationships). Retail “therapy”.
Isolation. You get the picture.
“No test” –
health problems, ministry struggles, relational conflict, living in another
country, circumstances that just won’t change, relational fallout… etc.
These are “common”
things. No matter what your circumstance, it is not unique to you! This is comforting, because we can learn from
others who have endured the same struggle.
It is also convicting, because we like to believe we are the only ones
who ever struggle!
These things have no power over you. They cannot “overtake” you.
“God is faithful”,
and he promises that you cannot be tempted/tested beyond your ability to
GLORIFY HIM in the midst of it. You have
a choice! You can bear it!
When you are tempted/tested, you have a “way out”. You can choose
joy! You can glorify Him!
You CAN “endure”
it! You don’t have to give in to
despair. You can choose hope.
I reference this analogy often, because it resonates so
deeply in my heart. I see myself in the
Israelites, and in Moses sometimes too.
I want to run back to what I know, sure, but really I want to go back to
what I think is easy. Growing is a lot
of work. Trust, is work. Choosing to be thankful, is work. I want to grumble. I want to walk back, and you know what? I bet some of them did. They chose to prolong the test, rather than
just taking it! They failed, and had to
retake it over and over. Because God is
Faithful, He requires a passing grade before we can move on.
Don’t keep failing the test.
Repent, and return to the Lord.
Grumbling is sin. Not
choosing joy, is sin. You have a
choice. Pass the test!
If you are stuck, find a brother or sister in Christ who
seems to be doing this well.
If you do nothing else, don’t surround yourself with people
to commiserate with!
Erin, your resolve to honor God rather than excuse your sin, AND be so transparent with your readers, IS going to bring you the relief and joy not only of healing of your fault, but of multiplication of prayers, thanksgivings and similar returnings (!) to this preciously faithful God of ours. THANK you for being part of giving us all the privilege! THANK you for loving Him and us so genuinely!
ReplyDeletePlease PRAY for US to also have such clarity for ALL our sinfulness from which He would also be delivering us--as well as those under its effect.
SURELY, by these things we speed His Coming (II Peter 3:12) and sweeten our waiting--though tearfully, much of the time. I pray God keeps you increasingly in such tender responsiveness to Him.
His ministry to me through you has been timely and "spot-on". And I REJOICE in the happy security of his effective Father-love! He disciplines us for our profit, that is, our sharing in His holiness (Hebrews 12:10), and so that we will not be condemned with the world (I Corinthians 11:32).
I AM PRAYING FOR YOU, SISTER.
Patty McClintock/II Cor. 6:10